November 2, 2013

The Thankful Project Day 2: A Role You've Played

It's the second day of The Thankful Project and today's prompt is "a role you've played."

The role I am most thankful for is that of being a mom. I know I haven't had Maylee for a long time, but I am grateful to be her mother. In the short period of two months of having her, this role has allowed me to grow as an individual and I cannot wait for the rest of the years to come. It has changed the way I think, and the way I do things dramatically. I hardly drink, and play video games. It has taught me not to be selfish, because it's not about me anymore. My life now serves a different purpose such that my time is definitely dedicated for her that if she needs something, I am there to provide for her.

Having a child is such a huge deal, because they depend on you, and you become a role model to them. When it comes to decision-making, I find myself thinking of my daughter prior to making them. I think of how it is going to affect her. Dangerous, risky things are starting to become less appealing to me because I feel like I have to prolong my existence in order to be there for her.

Being a mother is such an amazing gift from the God above. Although, not everyone is blessed enough to have a child. I have met people in the past who could not conceive and it broke my heart to hear it. I was sad for them. I felt for them. It's such a privilege to be someone's mother that you cannot take it for granted, that is why I am expressing my feelings about it now, of how grateful I am to be the person caring for Maylee.

Today's topic ties in with what I mentioned being thankful yesterday. Being a mom has made a lot of things clearer, things that I never could have fully understood before. The fact that I am playing this role now has made me realize what parents, mothers specifically, go through when raising a child. It made me appreciate my mom, my mother-in-law, and all the people that helped raised me when I was a child more.

Before I was a Mom

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my minds and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before  I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

What role are you thankful to have played?

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